the unique samantha

It’s been weeks of little to no sleep from painsomnia

Oh,just take meds, right? Meds cause terrible side effects.

I smile. I laugh. I get stuff done.

I don’t want pity, so I don’t say anything to anyone. I don’t want to complain because truthfully, no one really likes a complainer.

The frustration and pain fester until I can’t take any more. Then finally I cry, at night, into my pillow, trying not to make a sound.

I am alone.

It’s not just me. It’s everyone. It happens to all of us.

Most of the time, it’s small things. Small things piled on top of other small things. The pile of small things grows until there’s not more room to add to the pile.

Then it happens. One more small thing is added. And the pile collapses and traps me, or you, or your family, or your neighbor.

So what do I do now? My pile has collapsed all around me.

I can’t smile today. I can’t laugh today. I can’t get things done today.

I still don’t want pity, but I could use….. I don’t know. A hug. A shoulder to catch my tears. Maybe someone to talk to, who’ll listen without speaking. Understanding. Empathy.

I need the courage to reach out before my pile of small things collapses and traps me again.